Benjamin and the Frog. Hmmm… Sounds like a children’s story doesn’t it? Well it isn’t, having recovered from a really sleepless night and an exciting day in The Out, I thought I would tell you all about my meeting with poet, Benjamin Zephaniah at Blackfriars Arts Centre in Boston, and a meeting with a little frog the night before.

I was very excited that I was going to read my poetry to Benjamin Zephaniah. He is someone Colin and I worshipped from afar in the 1980s, those heady days of alternative cabaret and comedy. Tadpole and Co majored in disasters set to jazz and poetry, such as Herculaneum and the Titanic. These were surprisingly popular considering they were in very bad taste. Those days in the mid-eighties were brief but happy times brought to a premature end by the surge in interest in samba bands and the desertion of our percussionist, Richard Bett, aka Riccardo Thunderfingers. He was the only man I have ever met who was capable of sustaining a rhythm on congas whilst simultaneously being thousands of people going down with a ship or getting buried by volcanic ash.

Yes, we certainly did some crazy back stuff then. We performed music and poetry in gigs and literature festivals from Hastings to Edinburgh. Some of it was even quite good but it was the comedic disasters that earned us our Yorkshire bookings, courtesy of Wild Willie, and the opportunity to share the stage with such worthies as Henry Normal and Jo Brand. We never performed with Ben, but he was “Up there!” and when the opportunity came to meet him at Boston, read some serious poetry and discuss it we leaped at the chance.

The night before recording the interview I couldn’t sleep. I was nervous, excited and in that terrible place where the more you try to sleep the less likely it is to come. Add to that an annoying tune that kept running through my head courtesy of an advert on TV… you get the picture. Eventually I must have dozed off and about three thirty to four in the morning I was woken by a cat coughing. Now, when said cat is a Himalayan and there is a history of heart murmurs in the breed you worry, so I got up to check on him.

He seemed fine, but was scrabbling around his water bowl. Then he pounced on a blanket I had hanging over a box full of stuff I really ought to sort through, donate, throw away… you know the sort of thing. I lifted the blanket and in the semi-darkness of my Pusheen nightlight, I saw what looked like a pile of poop.
“Urgh”, I said, turning the main light on, but it wasn’t poop, it was a frog! We have an empty vegetable container we use for trapping and releasing flies so I grabbed it quickly and, with the aid of a piece of card, I easily caught the sleepy looking frog.

By this time Colin was up and about and wandered into the bathroom.
“You wouldn’t believe what I just caught in my bed room,” I said.
“Just a minute,” he grumbled.
He must have been half asleep because the surprise of finding a frog in the house didn’t register. Nor did he offer to do the gentlemanly thing and put it out for me. So here I was, standing in my nightie and slippers in the twilight before dawn, trying to unlock the front door while Froggie got more and more excited and jumped up and down in his box. He was released to the water feature by the pond (I know frogs hide in there). I was surprised that he made no attempt to escape after the first hop. I guess he is a very laid back frog and in my experience frogs are not scared of people.

P1060681

Now, I have no idea how a frog came to be in my bedroom, nor do I have any idea how long he was in residence. All I know is that he certainly seemed settled under the blanket and that one of the cat water bowls showed signs of dust-bunnies and what I assumed was a frog poop right in the middle. Cue vigorous cat bowl scrubbing and changing of water… I then went back to bed and caught about three hours sleep before I had to get up for an early start and our journey to Boston where we were due to read poems and discuss immigration, Pilgrim Fathers and Boston amongst other things.

I suppose I was a bit ring-eyed and stupid for my interview with Ben. It took me a long time to relax and come out of my shell, but he is a lovely, genuine man and seemed interested in my poems and Colin’s too. When it was all over the three of us chatted for a little while about the eighties, alternative cabaret and the parallel universes we seemed to exist in. Somehow we never shared the stage with Benjamin Zephaniah back then. Hopefully when the programme comes out, we will finally get that wish.

I spend a lot of time on Twitter. Possibly (very likely) more than I should and that is possibly counterproductive in terms of time management, but I have grown my following by being real and interactive. Occasionally I am tempted to schedule tweets and I do find they can be effective for reaching people in the middle of the night. If I do, I always respond to follows and retweets as soon as I can.

Lately I have been seeing a lot of relatively small accounts growing their own followers by offering random retweets and telling you this is the way to go. It is almost like a follow train (another thing I won’t do) and while still within the rules it is only a matter of time before Twitter reacts to it and makes it harder to do. Already it is impossible to access your own likes for pinning to your profile later, you used to be able to keep them for years, now the limit is days. Favourites have been replaced by “moments” and I am not even sure what “moments” are. (Perhaps someone who is a real person can tell me in the comments?) That has been done for a reason, most likely to stop automation of this sort. It is very annoying when measures taken to discourage automation stop the user from sending real messages that quote your own old tweets… but there you go… It is the price we pay for these cheating Autotweet apps.

I know lots of people who used to interact personally and reciprocate RTs are now using random apps instead of spending time on Twitter. They no longer respond or reciprocate so I no longer retweet them. In my limited time I want to interact with real people, not be overlooked by third party apps. So, that is my curmudgeonly musing for the day. If you ARE a new retweet app user you are losing the impressions my RTs would have given you. I prefer the real deal!

There was a time, not too long ago, when to have a well-rounded liberal education was considered a good thing. I grew up in such a system. My education in areas of health, careers and financial management was non-existent but I could read and speak a little in three languages, knew a little Latin and dabbled in music and poetry while studying towards maths and science A-levels. That was the point at which things started to change for me.

I was blessed with a Maths teacher who was somewhat of a genius mathematically but not very gifted as a pedagogue. He expected us all to understand instinctively what was needed to solve problems. For the A* students that was no problem but most of us struggled. For me, it fell apart with integral calculus and that, I was told, was essential for A level Chemistry. Without Maths and Chemistry my best subject, Biology, had to be dropped much against my protests and those of Mr Howard my Biology teacher. Why? Well, in those days one science A level was apparently no use to anyone when it came to University entrance so when I dug my heels in and refused to give up A level Music and have extra maths homework I was reassigned to taking English and French midway through my second term.

I suppose I had these difficulties because I was a bit of a polymath which was fine up to year twelve (sixth-form we were called then) but afterwards you had to think about University and careers. Had my Maths teacher been more imaginative I could possibly have conquered the little block I had on integral calculus; at that time I could do it mechanically but didn’t understand its application to real life problems. I would have completed my science courses as planned, but I didn’t. In such circumstances I would probably have gone on to study music therapy, which needed science and music, or psychology which fascinated me then and still does – or even both – but as it was I was left with arts subjects and no ambition.

The whole experience was demoralising and I dropped out for a while after passing those exams. What followed was two years in the retail trade, then a four year degree in teaching and a lifetime drifting through the education system in various incarnations, cover teacher, class teacher, college lecturer and peripatetic music teacher. It was a good career but it never set me alight. I spent my free time variously scribbling poetry, stories and scripts, making musical arrangements for guitar, writing songs and composing my own serious “classical” music.

So many years later, I regret nothing. I did what I had to do and followed the paths I was told to follow by my elders and betters. Now I find I am still torn by many interests; history, politics, science, the environment, animals and nature – not to mention a spiritual side I usually keep under wraps. I am content if not happy. In this life nobody can be completely happy if they are aware of the plight of others. We all experience loss, which we learn to accept, and horror at terrible events, which is perhaps harder to cope with. I have fans who listen to my music on internet radio. I sell musical arrangements and compositions worldwide. I have just published my second novel which, until last week, was selling and being read. I have four books of poetry under my belt and I am working on several projects when the cats allow me some free time.

Why do I write this now? Well, as an author, I am daunted by the importance of genre and tropes. I see specialism is not confined to the sciences now but has filtered through into the arts too. Authors are expected to use pen names when they write in different genres. This is a process that is all about selling and targeting readers. The great writers of history did not confine themselves in such an unnatural way. Shakespeare wrote tragedies and comedies. He toyed with history and the paranormal. Edgar Allen Poe dabbled with detective fiction, science fiction and poetry although he is remembered for horror. Oscar Wilde dabbled in horror, moral tales and poetry although he was best known for satire, wit, and the theatre.

Take a look at my page at Author Central if you want to see diversity:

Lisa Gabriel on Author Central

If you travel over to iTunes and look me up there you will see my music is not particularly specialised either:

Lisa Marie Gabriel on iTunes

It’s just that sometimes creative people need that bit of freedom just to BE. The selling is something we would hope, often in vain, that others with entrepreneurial abilities might do for us and in this day and age that becomes less and less likely. So please forgive the polymaths of the world, the multi-genre authors and the fusion musicians. We are not trying to deceive you, we are just who we are. I hope you all had a wonderful Easter, Ostara or whatever else you like to call it and may your God/dess bless and keep you whoever He/She is.

india-adams

India R. Adams is author of Serenity (Forever Book 1) and this week I was privileged to meet up with her online and to ask a few questions about her work and ambitions.

Please tell us a little about your background, hobbies and homelife.

I used to be a professional dancer who never had any intentions on writing. Then I became a drama instructor with children, which was a lot of fun. Kids rock. They really do. My first marriage was not the “dream come true” so I had to relearn some things. And as I aged, my childhood past kept creeping up on me. Trying to move past it and grow, brought me to writing, healing my past and loving the future. Now I am remarried with three kids, a loving true dream husband, and I am reaching others—victims—through stories of understanding and compassion because I understand, I’ve been there.

How long have you been writing?

Over nine years but February 2017 is my one-year anniversary of being a “published” author. I started with writing Serenity, the first novel in the Forever series. Oddly enough, it was my last release last year. I released 6 books in 6 months. Fun, but CRAZY!

How many books have you published so far?

I will be having my seventh release, Destiny, the second novel in the Forever series, in April 2017, so six.

Are you a multi-genre author or do you specialise?

Multi and then some! Hahaha… YA and NA. Contemporary/Paranormal/Fantasy/Metaphysical and the list goes on… I even have a MC book in the works.

What do you think is best, and why, to be a published author or an independent?

I’ve only been under my own publishing company but, from what I hear, being traditionally published you lose some of the freedom I have now. I love my job, and it would take a decent offer for me to change over to another publisher.

What projects do you have in the pipeline for the future?

Whooee! I have four releases planned this year. Destiny, Scar Me, River, and Red Waters. I might squeeze one more in (they are all mostly written) but may just wipe my brow and say, “Enough, girl. Stop the madness!”

Next year I plan on releasing the rest of the Forever series, which be four more novels, Mercy, Liberty, Hope, Trinity. I know, I’m a bit insane to be in editing with so many at once. Then I will get back to finishing my other series, A Stranger in the Woods, Haunted Roads, My Wolf and Me, Tainted Waters, then I will finish other books in the works. There is approximately twenty so far. For eight years I wrote 12 hours a day. My imagination insisted on it! My poor kids starved, haha.


Serenity (Forever Book 1)

An Interview with Serenity

I asked India for an interview with Serenity Dowell so that we can get to know this interesting character more closely.

• Tell me a little about your family and what it is like at home.

Oh gosh, my home life? Well, I usually don’t talk about it. I don’t want my friends to worry because they’re young too. If the adults in my life can’t protect me, how can other high schoolers? Ya know? But, this is a special occasion so I will try to give you a little insight. My mom is what you call a binge drinker, a type of alcoholic where, when she drinks, she doesn’t stop—drinks right through the night and day. She has a good heart, she really does, it just has been lost somewhere along the way. My Dad? He’s more complicated. He used to be great. That is why, what he has become now, is so incredibly painful for me.

• Is there someone special in your life and if so what attracted you to them?

Yes, Ma’am. Dereck Hamilton. And what attracted me to him was our past lives. There have been many, and with each one he has been what I can only describe as a dream. And this life? He’s fighting for mine, with all his heart.

• What do you do for a living and what is your ultimate ambition?

My only job at the present is high school, and it works me plenty, hahaha…

• What are you most proud of?

I would have to say surviving. No matter what, I somehow keep pushing forward and not giving up.

• What, if anything, would you change about your life?

If you asked me this a year ago, I would have said my home life. But, now I’m starting to see that it has made me stronger. Was it worth it? I think so. And it’s my life, and life goes on, right?

• What do you like to do to relax?

There is a spring behind my house, in the woods, and it calms my soul. Let’s me escape till the sun goes down…

• What do you dread most in the world?

This question is easy. I’ve had to witness Dereck die before… It was… awful. Something I fear, daily.

• Do you have any pets?

Nope. I’m still working on taking care of myself, hahaha.

• If you were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would you take as a luxury?

As someone who has lived without such things, I have no idea how to answer that. Monetary objects seem to hold no value for me. If it’s an okay answer, I would like to pick my journal. May not be worth much to others but to me, it is my link to the woman I get to visit in my dreams. Her heart is all the gold I need.

LINKS TO INDIA AND HER WORK

Serenity (Forever Book 1)
India’s Blog
India R. Adams on Author Central – See all her books here
India R.Adams on Goodreads
Follow India on Twitter
Keep up with India on Facebook

Well the easy answer is because that is her nature. Life as a writer would be infinitely more easy if our characters were less complex. If Midge were heterosexual that would throw open a much larger readership for me for a start. Schools and Christian readers would not be taken aback by her love for another women for example. Yet she would blend unseen into the infinitely large pile of boy meets girl romances. If she were to be a lesbian on the other hand that would make her life much less complicated for her and for my novel too. There would be a ready made niche audience of lesfic fans who I suspect would be somehow much more comfortable with her sexuality. There would be fewer triggers in the story although, for me, it would be less true to life and less interesting. Midge is neither gay nor straight and that shapes her life in unexpected ways. Although she is obviously drawn to women emotionally she enjoys the company of men as likeable human beings and has a strong sex drive which is modified by the era in which she was born. There will be those readers who say she always was a lesbian and just had to discover her true self; there will be some who castigate her for marrying a man just as there will be those who condemn her for being unfaithful to Richard. So why did I write her this way? Was I trying to be trendy?

In answer to the first, my writing tends to be character driven. I believe that our characters exist in some hidden dimension of space or time waiting to speak to those who will be most attentive to their needs. Maybe some will see that as paranormal; I think it more likely that it is a product of our own psyche, our conscious beliefs and our unconscious dreams. When a character like Midge is “born” she takes over the writing of the story and leads it down paths a little different possibly from those we had planned. I could no more force Midge to be gay or straight than I could force myself to eat melted blue cheese on cornflakes! She has a voice of her own and her scenes were almost dictated to me, as distinct from scenes I wrote for other characters after in depth historical research.

Was I trying to be trendy? Absolutely not. The concept of “bisexual being trendy” is really limited in my experience to the young and famous. For most honestly bisexual individuals it is not an easy label to take on or live with. The ideas many people have about bisexuals derive from sources that have a strong agenda. I won’t go into that now, but I will reference a superb book that addresses many of the misconceptions about bisexuals. This comes from my review of Purple Prose on Goodreads:

“Bisexual is not a “one size fits all” label. Being bisexual is not about being confused, trendy, greedy or dishonest. Bi-phobia and bi-erasure are institutionalised everywhere. Bisexuals are often, but not always, monogamous. They might identify as straight or gay/lesbian their entire lives but they know they have romantic feelings towards both genders and indeed sometimes to people whose gender falls outside the binary norm. A bisexual friend once said to me “I love a person, not a gender.” For those individuals who fall into the “monosexual” category gender assumes an overwhelming significance in partner choice. For bisexuals it does not – a person is loved for more than their intimate parts, their masculinity or femininity. This should be liberating. Often it is not.”

So I was not trying to be trendy and by being honest rather than reductionist in my writing I was probably always going to limit my book’s audience but if one person reads The Wings to Fly and says “I know that girl, she is like me” or “she is like my friend” then it will have been worthwhile. Sometimes life does not fit into convenient pigeonholes and neither do heroines in fiction.

This is something writers are often asked and I find I am no exception to that. The answer will vary from author to author and also varies within genres. For example, in my short stories I often find the idea for a story arrives well before any of the characters. In my novels it is a completely different kettle of fish. In the case of The Cougar , Berenice actually appeared to me in a dream and said “Tell my story.” She had such a commanding presence that I had little choice in the matter and the following day I sat down and began to write The Cougar from scratch. This novel was my first and I was not writing to any standard genre or pattern. The Cougar is a love it or hate it novel for that reason. It doesn’t conform and is not written with anyone’s sensitivities or preferences in mind. I could have bent the story or characters to a particular style or genre but I wouldn’t really want to. Berenice wanted the story told and it was Berenice who dictated the telling of it. The Cougar was an easy book to write and seemed quite effortless at the time; its setting was a familiar one – a place I love in reality – research was serious because I like to get things right historically but it presented no problems. The hard part was the editing but the hardest of course was learning to live with all sorts of criticism, some of it harsh, much of it probably justified based on what is expected of writers when it comes to “how to write commercially”. Were there things I could have done differently? Very likely, but it is a question of weighing up what could be gained against what would be lost.

When I wrote my second novel (which at the time probably looked like being my third) it was again character driven. I had a few thoughts which gave birth to an initial storyline but, once begun, I found that the character of Midge took over as narrator for much of the time and her feelings took front seat throughout. The Wings to Fly is an historical novel and certainly required a lot of reading and research, taking nearly a whole year to write the first draft as opposed to The Cougar’s six weeks, in both cases this was followed by careful editing. The Cougar was therefore an easier project than The Wings to Fly but I am happy overall with the result. It is a longer and more complex tale and I took on board many examples of the historical fiction genre that I have enjoyed over the years. It is a more intimate telling, there are fewer factual asides, where reality creeps in it is made part of the action. Characters are, I hope, well developed and believable. There are aspects of the main character in both of these novels that I would like to elaborate on further because I am sure some readers are going to have questions about their complex personalities and lives but those are questions that will have to wait for another day.

Both The Cougar and The Wings to Fly are available in paperback and ebook format and may be read for free on Kindle Unlimited.

 

Author of  full length romance novel, “Summers & Winters”, Heather Dowell is only 23 now, but has been writing for about 10 years.

“I don’t think there was ever really a moment when I decided to write. I never really thought about it until now, but I think I started coming up with ideas after watching A Walk to Remember. The first plot I came up with was for Summers & Winters. I didn’t make it past the first 60 or so pages until 2009. On my second deployment, my writing really took off. I was tired of looking at a black screen watching the minutes go by, so started stealing computer paper, and pretending like I was working on job requirements, when really I was working on this novel. Now that the novel is finished and I have all of these other ideas swarming around in my head, I don’t think I’ll ever stop writing. People always say they were born to do something, and I believe writing is the thing that I was born to do.”

Heather loves writing, has a rich imagination and is not bound by any one genre, except that she is not interested in non-fiction, Westerns or horror. She has favourites however:

“I love paranormal, sci-fi, dystopia, and fantasy, and I enjoy the challenge of trying to write them and make them realistic.”

Like many authors, Heather becomes deeply involved in the lives and the feelings of her characters too:

“The thing I love most about writing is giving life to my characters. I don’t feel settled until others can read about them. Sometimes I think of my characters as real people. I cry when they cry, laugh when they laugh, and love when they love.“

The next book in the series is “The Coldest of Winters” which picks up right where book one left off, “well, a few hour later to be exact. Sorry about the cliff hanger, but it had to be done. It was the perfect ending to book one and lead in to book 2. I’m sure some of you saw it coming, but I doubt you will be able to predict what will happen in book 2.”

With the quality of Heather’s characterization and great romantic content we can certainly look forward to book 2!

Of course, Summers & Winters is also available worldwide and clicking on the picture below will take you to Amazon UK.

 

I asked Heather to give me a flavour of her characters for you to read and she came up with this interview. Characters were interviewed separately, but the answers are given together for ease in reading!

Heather Winters (H:) and Mitch Summers (H:) interviewed by the author, Heather Dowell (I:)

I: Where do you go when you’re angry?
M: I go to my grandpaw’s. He lives on farm, so there are always things to do. Chopping wood seems to be the best method for getting rid of my frustration.
H: I go running. It doesn’t really matter where. I just can’t sit around. I have to do something about it, or I’ll go out, and that won’t be pretty.

I: What is your biggest fear? Who have you told this to? Who would you never tell this to? Why?
H: My biggest fear is that when I have to go back home, Mitch won’t follow me like he says he will. I’m sixteen and he’s seventeen, our parents aren’t going to change their lives around so that we can stay together. After my grandpa dies, I’m going to have to leave. It’s scares me to death. I’ve told Brittany. I wanted reassurance that I wasn’t being a worse wart. She said she could tell that Mitch loves me, but didn’t offer anything else.
M: My biggest fear is telling Heather that I love her. I’ve never told anyone that before, and I most definitely would not tell Stacey. Stacey would open her mouth and expose Heather and me, and then Heather would be forced to leave.

I: Does you have a secret?
M: I’m dating Heather. It’s not a secret to my closest friends, but no one else know. I want to tell everyone that we’re together so that I can take her on actual dates, but we’re living in the same house, and if my parents find out about us, they’ll find other living arrangements for Heather.
H: I’m in love with Mitch! [squeals]

I: What makes you laugh out loud?
H: Um, everything. [laughs]
M: Listening to Heather’s laugh. I love her, but she sounds like a seal.

I: When you think of your childhood kitchen, what smell comes to mind?
M: Pancakes and waffles.
H: Something on fire. My mom can’t cook worth a – [covers her mouth] – flip. [nods her head in confirmation, blushing]

I: What is your most treasured possession?
H: I have two. The ring my dad gave me when promised not to [gives an awkward look], you know. The second is his compass that doubles as a locket. It was the only thing that survived the [takes a gulp before sighing], you know.
M: It’s going to sound really stupid. I know you’re gonna laugh. I’m a guy, I’m not supposed to be a romantic sap, but this is what she has turned me into. It’s the picture she drew me in Art class a few months ago – a heart with a key at the center.
I: Aw, that’s so sweet. [cough] Dork. [cough, cough] Sorry, got a frog in my throat.
M: [rolls eyes] Sure you did.

I: Moving on, when and where were you the happiest?
M: In my bed.
I: WHAT!!! Y’all didn’t [intruding face]?
M: No. Wow, you have a dirty mind [blushes]. Heather though I was asleep and she [bites his lip and turns his head away from the interviewer, while running a hand through his soft, blonde hair] told me she loved me.
I: AHHH!!! That’s awesome.
M: [raises eyebrows] Yeah, it really is. [bites lip]

I: When and where were you the happiest?
H: Hmm, I’d have to say the entire weekend of Sammy and Brian’s Birthdays. The campgrounds at Hilton Head were awesome, but what I most enjoyed was going to go on a really date with Mitch. We weren’t too worried about the people there with us finding out. We can’t be so careless anywhere near Homestead, so it was nice to be a few hours away.

I: Which talent would you most like to have?
H: I’d love to be able to dance. I’ve had great dance partners that make my look like I know what I am doing, but I have new skills of my own. I’ve only mastered grinding and slow dancing. Anything else, and I’ll look like a fool.
M: I’d love to be able to play the guitar. Heather likes for me to sing to her, even though it makes her cry. They are happy tears, she assures me. I’m sure if I ever have a kid, I’ll want to be able to sing them to sleep, and playing the guitar would only help. [glares questionably] What? No frog in the throat?
I: [wipes tear away with index finger before sniffling and regaining composure] No. That really was sweet.

I: What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
M: Being without Heather. You going to cry again?
I: Nope, I’m good. You’re back to being sappy again.

H: Losing someone you love, especially when their death comes suddenly.

I: What is the quality you most like in a man?
H: Hmm, I’d have to say compassion. I have to have a man that ok with me being emotional at times or angry, or whatever I choose to be at any given moment. He has to show me that he love me and isn’t going anywhere.
I: Trust issues?
H: [one eyebrow raises as the other lowers] I lost my dad when I was 12. I don’t do well with death or any sort of goodbye. I ever despise the very words. Maybe that makes me weak. I don’t know, but it’s not a trust issue. I just like having assurance.

I: What is the quality you most like in a woman?
M: A like a woman that is completely raw. That’s not really the right word, so I’ll explain. I like a woman that doesn’t hold back what she is feeling in order to please other people and is unapologetic about who she is. I want a woman who will put her heart on the line and let me in. A women that will let me discover the depths of her soul. There is only one women like that, and her name is Heather. [hands interviewer a tissue]

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
M: Superman
H: Superman. I think he always will be now.
I: Why is that?
H: Superman always remind me of the first night I saw Mitch. The airport lost my things, so Mitch let me borrow his pj’s. They are Superman pj’s. I still wear them every night.
I: [cough] Dork. [cough, cough]
H: If going to bed in clothes my man once wore makes me a dork, so be it.

I: Which living person do you most admire?
H: My mom. We both lost dad, and she just kept on kicking.
M: My grandpaw. He’s always been here for me.

I: What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
M: My looks. Heather looks at me like I’m some kind of god, but I’m really not all that good looking, or at least I don’t think I am. If she’s attracted me, then that is all that matters. I could care less about whatever anyone else has to say about my looks.
H: My singing voice. I’m no Demi Lavato. I’m try, and I guess I sing better than most, but I’m not rock star material by any means.

I: On what occasions do you lie?
H: I lie when I’m protecting myself or my friends.
M: When the outcome of telling the truth is unbearable.

H: Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
M: You tell me.
I: [shrugs]
H: You know.

I: How would you like to die?
H: That’s a horrible question for someone like me, but I guess I would want it almost instant, like a car wreck. I’d have long enough to say my last prayer and then POOF.
M: In my sleep. I’m a wussy.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
M: Rain, because I would be given other things life.
H: The wind. I could go anywhere.