Yesterday I blighted my day by discovering what I thought was battery acid at the bottom of a bag. I was looking for one of those, you know, make your feet soft and beautiful gadgets? I got one, an Amopé Pedi Perfect Foot File – Electronic Pedicure Tool for Christmas two years ago and never tried it out and now my feet are a bit grimly fiendish from wearing steel capped wellies in the garden. Well, to cut a long story a little shorter, I discovered it in the worst possible way. I put my hand into a cloth bag full of once precious “stuff” and pulled it out covered in golden brown gook with white crystals in. ACID! It was instant panic, hands under the tap for several minutes, then wash with soap and rinse again and again. I hoped I had been quick enough and wouldn’t need to go to A&E. Then I donned plastic gloves to carry on discovering the bag’s contents in case it contained something dangerous for the dustbin. (Like a credit card perhaps?)

Eventually after uncovering some restaurant leaflets, some pretty purple socks I had been given as a gift, a British Airways goody bag and a couple of hotel soap bars I discovered this little box. Surely the evil leaking batteries would be inside? I ripped it open. Nothing. Just more of the golden coloured primeval ooze. Then I noticed the writing on the little box – “Sheraton mints”. All that panic over a deliquescent box of confectionery. I think I am losing my marbles along with those soft centred mints and I am truly glad hoarding is only an occasional hobby rather than a serious profession.

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