We took two elderly Persian cats to the vet yesterday. It was meant to be one, but the other developed a limp. The adventure began with a taxi ride courtesy of a driver who is allergic to animals. As we ordered the taxi and said there would be a cat involved we were a bit surprised that they sent a driver with an allergy. So off we set, windows open, sincerely hoping that the driver would not develop itchy eczema, uncontrollable sneezleums or even anaphylactic shock. I told him that as Persians didn’t affect my animal allergies he would probably be OK. He told me he would have to sleep tonight with his toes outside the blankets and get cold feet otherwise they would get so itchy they would bleed. My nose started to itch dreadfully. I hadn’t the heart to suggest that it might just be the car air freshener at fault. It was pedal to the metal over the flyover and through the traffic. A race against symptoms. Thought for the day, I really must get my driving licence corrected, have the B’Ed removed, and buy a new car for the cats’ sake if not ours. Anyway we did arrive in one piece and the driver was still alive and symptom free.

Cue arrival at the vets. A longish wait with various sad looking dogs, one of whom could not stand straight and had his head permanently twisted to the side. Eventually we got to see the lovely lady vet rather than the handsome gentleman who appeared to be on dog duty. Cat number one has a nasty ear infection apparently. What we thought was a skin problem is not that simple. She has been scratching her little head raw so we face a week of twice daily ear drops and she has a cone head. She can sleep with it on but walks backwards and has to have it removed for medication and, of course, food. Elizabethan collars were not designed for flat faced Persians. If we hold the bowl for her she can eat, otherwise it’s not possible, so as she often spends the night grazing on kibbles she was very hungry this morning. We are investing in a soft collar as she has to wear it for a week and the looks we get from her would shame even the Marquis de Sade.

CROCI Protective Collar, 9.5 cm, Soft Green

Cat two’s limp is not good either but as he is on steroids for gastritis he was not given a painkiller. Although we witnessed him in a fight with an Amazon box (the box won), our vet seems to think it may be arthritis rather than injury and he is to “be quiet and rest.” He is ignoring doctor’s orders of course and is presently walking around shouting. I told her that the steroids were no longer particularly effective anyway and that perhaps we should wean him off them if he needs pain relief. The Nutri-vit Plus paste we have been giving him for a midday treat seems to be just as effective. She looked at me with big wide eyes and said: “He needs to rest and not play with empty boxes.” My thoughts? “So do we all!”